Sydney and the Whale

Jonah and the Whale has always been one of my favorite Bible stories. It very repeatable, not everyone has been in a whale but the story and the lesson are.

For those of you who are not very familiar with the story here's a small recap. The Lord spoke to Jonah and said "Go to Nineveh and tell the people there that they are being bad and they need to ask for forgiveness" But then Jonah was like "Uh. No." (Pretend its WWII and God told Jonah "They are doing awful things in Germany and I will bring bad things to them so go save them and tell them to ask for forgiveness." Now you can understand a little why Jonah wasn't super excited.)So he (stupidly) fled to Tarshish (in that day they thought Tarshish was the end of the earth so he thought he could escape God there.) Also Nineveh was east of Isreal and Tarshish was as far west as they could get. When he arrived at Joppa he found a boat that was heading to Tarshish so he paid them and got on the boat. God was not happy so while at sea He made a storm on the water and the guys on the boat started freaking out and praying to their god. They woke up Jonah telling him to pray to his god to help calm the storm. Then Jonah was like "Crap, this is totes my bad. God is mad at me so throw me overboard." As soon as they did the storm was gone. As you can guess now is when the whale comes in. He swallows Jonah and keeps him inside of him for 3 days and 3 nights. The Lord commanded the whale to spit him on land and God said "You will go to Nineveh now" and Jonah obeyed. In my mind I see Jonah in front of 100,000 people with slouched down shoulders and eyes rolled chewing gum saying "Umm ok so Gods like really mad at you and you should say your sorry" And they repented and God forgave them. But then Jonah was like "Thats it?!?" and he threw a tantrum and went outside of the city to chill out. The sun was really hot so God sprang up a big leafy tree for his shade. The next morning God sent a worm to chew up the tree and Jonah got upset that He took away the shade. Then God said "Why are you upset about a tree and not the 120,000 people living in Nineveh that were about to be killed? Boom, ROASTED!

I cant honestly relate to the entire story but the whale is what I want to focus on. I was diagnosed with depression sometime in high school and started taking pills for it. I've had my good days and my not so good days but as of recently it became worse. For months I was having more bad days than good. On days I didn't work I would spend all day in my bed crying. Not for anything specific just crying for hours at a time. When I would calm down a little I would get out of bed to get something small to eat. Pretty much as soon as I got outside of my room the crying would start again and I wasn't hungry anymore so I crawled back in bed. I always saw the commercials for depression showing how the people aren't themselves and never getting out of bed and I thought "that sucks" and yes, it does indeed suck. I never thought a mental illness would effect you physically but it did in a huge way. I gained weight, was constantly sleeping, had weird stomach/ head aches and was just clearly not myself. I lost int rest in literally everything. I felt like I was under house arrest. Home was the only place I could be. I missed seeing one of my best friends who was visiting from California. My brain and heart were saying "Go!" but my body didn't want me to so I got a very awful migraine just in time for me to get off work and head to the bar. "Its so unfair" I would think. I want to go!


One day during a crying spell I just kept saying "I want to die!" which made me think of the story of Jonah who said that multiple times. I opened my Bible to read his story hoping to find some comfort and found Jonah's prayer while he's in the whale.

“In my distress I called to the Lord,and he answered me. From deep in the realm of the dead I called for help,and you listened to my cry.You hurled me into the depths,into the very heart of the seas,and the currents swirled about me;all your waves and breakers swept over me.I said, ‘I have been banished from your sight;yet I will look again toward your holy temple.’The engulfing waters threatened me,the deep surrounded me;seaweed was wrapped around my head.To the roots of the mountains I sank down;the earth beneath barred me in forever.But you, Lord my God,brought my life up from the pit.When my life was ebbing away,I remembered you, Lord,and my prayer rose to you,to your holy temple“Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them. But I, with shouts of grateful praise,will sacrifice to you.What I have vowed I will make good.I will say, ‘Salvation comes from the Lord.’” (Jonah 2:2-9)  

As someone who was in a very deep depression I could relate to all of that.  Like all of it. "From the deep realm of the dead I call for help" when I felt so unbelievably sad I called for help from the Lord. "You hurled me into the depths into the very heart of the ocean" when I would stay in bed all day I would have trouble breathing and honestly felt like I was drowning. Even though I thought He had forgotten about me, He clearly didn't. "But you my Lord brought my life up from the pit" kind of self explanatory.  "When life was ebbing away, I remembered you, Lord" I always knew in the back of my mind that this (somehow) was His plan. Growing up going to church I had heard that God has a plan for me but we don't always know what it is and honestly that's kind of scary to trust that he has everything under control . (As a control freak it's not as easy as it may be for others) Which made me think of one of my favorite Bible versus which is Jeremiah 29:11 it says "'For I know the plans I have for you' says the Lord 'They are plans for good and not for evil.'" Egg on my face hu? So with a lot of prayer, proper medication, and help from my awesome boyfriend, Philip I am back to my normal self again! And I couldn't be happier to continue forward. YAY HAPPY!
 

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